for my readers' sake

I am working too much lately just for the sake of my readers. For more than a year, I've been wanting to leave this job because it causes me too much stress. Last year my ex-bestfriend/boyfriend asked me to find first a new job before leaving this, he told me that if I'm gonna leave this without a fall back---I am stupid. He thought I listened to what he was trying to tell me, but he doesn't know I was just waiting for something... I don't want to elaborate anymore what was that all about... hehehe. Anyhow, I am forcing myself and kicking my ass to work for my readers sake... why? For a year and so, I've been looking for someone who can replace me, someone that I can teach what to do and someone who will work better for the newspaper. But whenever I thought I find him/ her... my boss will kick him/ her out of this office... reason? Lack of funds. That's why it took me a year before finally filing my resignation which causes too much thinking for my boss. But because my reason was about me having sick because of my job, she asked me stay and told me to eat whenever I need to (or whenever my gastritis might attack), gave me an "increase" (spoken using a dwarf's voice) and she never ask me why I am always late. She's thinking of the newspaper's sake... and I, thinking of the 25,000 or more Filipinos reading this newspaper every issue. Tomorrow is my last day to my work as stated to my resignation letter. What will ever happen to the newspaper if I am going to leave this company? Surely, we will lose our readers. I feel like I've got a big responsibility to these people-- giving them the information and entertainment they need to know and get, giving them something to read to ease their loneliness and wanting to see Philippines soon. Me, having a heart as soft as a cotton candy, sometimes cannot just dump all these people-- well, that's what I feel, If I am going to leave this job, I will dump the 25,000 or more readers always waiting for this newspaper. And more so, my boss didn't look for someone to replace me. And due of this, I just cannot leave this company. *sigh*

Remember our Japanese Big Boss? He's here for the whole week, he talks to me as if nothing happened. He smiles at me as if he didn't scolded me last two weeks ago. Maybe my boss told him that I filed a resignation. And he is asking me to do everything so that our first issue of the classified ads (like) section will look best.

I've been wanting to rest, my friends keep on telling me I really need it.... and I will rest after helping them do this.

CHANGE TOPIC. This morning my mother woke up a bit early than what she got used to. She asked me if I will go to work today and what time. Then I told her I will this morning. She told me her friend will pick her up at 9am, meaning she will be the one to use first the bathroom. Then I went back to sleep. She woke me up with a hug and asked me what time I arrived this morning from work. Suddenly, I missed my mom.... then before my tears drop on my cheeks I told her to go and take a bath for I need to go to work this morning. She answered "Naglalambing pa ako eh". I just laughed! Then without knowing I fell asleep again while she was hugging me.

Before I left, my 1 yr old nephew hugged me tight and said "mama"-- he calls me that way. He cried when he saw me leaving. Geeeezzz, I am missing my family so much! For the whole week my nephew saw me only yesterday morning and this morning... and on both day, he was crying and calling me trying his best not let me go to work. I am missing him too.... so much!