state of national emergency

GMA declared this morning the whole Philippines under state of emergency... rallies are everywhere... and I am at work... my family is so worried about me... Im just few blocks away from one of the place where there's a harsh dispersal going on...

Honestly Im not afraid... I know I will be fine... but they are really afraid for protesters are becoming unruly where rocks are flying, police officers kept on hurting them....

Gotta be home.......


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My head is aching..... I've been so busy these past few days... doing something important...
I am missing someone too... hope everything is ok.

sleepy

Im so sleepy the whole day. Wish I can go home and sleep. I've got lots of things to do and I was able to finish one page.... hmp! Anyhow... I'll be home soon... wish I could sleep early too....

diet diet diet!

NOW I know I should not eat anymore... (exaggerating). I woke up early this morning hoping not to put any redmark on my time card for I know I will be receiving a warning from the HRD any moment due to my consecutive lates for the past weeks. I took my breakfast, took a bath then when Im already wearing my jeans, I felt like Im going to throw up for holding my stomach just not to let my 'bilbil' show up.... then after few minutes I thought I am going to faint. So, I decided to change my pants and wear my dress pants, but the problem is, all my longsleeves are wrinkled and my wash and wear blouses are all fitted on my body. I changed again and get my black slacks.. but my tee's won't fit it... arrrggghhhh! At this time I was crying, hating myself for letting this thing happen... I looked at the wall clock and it's almost nine in the morning, I took my faded jeans that I wore yesterday and my plain white shirt in my cabinet, put on my black leather belt and my black leather shoes and ran! As a result of this... I reached the ofiice at 9:11am.... late again!

4:15 pm

I went to Robinson's Galleria at 3pm to meet Thinzy's Kuya Al and Ate Susan.... atleast I already gave the stuffs for Thinzy.... a little hi and hello then we parted ways.... I rushed to go back at work. Mission Accomplished? Not yet.... I hope she will like it!

hearts day date

SAMANTHA called up Albert yesterday and asked if we could watch "I will always love you".... I said yes for I am missing her too... good thing Albert was late so Sam and I have some time to chat about some things happening to me lately- at work and my previous love life. Sam was sick but enjoyed the movie- she really loves Richard Gutierrez... he he he! To sum it all up we had a nice time being together and I'm missing her now...

I thought I'm okey

THIRTY minutes ago when I got here at work, I punched my time card and opened my pc. This morning I woke up so late and decided to file a half day at work. I made up my mind this morning to leave my yesterday behind and face everything on a day to day basis.. meaning, I will leave my past and just go with the flow of my life starting from today. When my yahoo messenger signed in all alert popped up and it says I've got emails and voice messages. I noticed that voice message only today for whenever I am opening my pc I am not paying attention to it for I am doing something else. I opened my voice messenger and I've got two messages. One from Carlo and another one from Yahoo. both dated September 13, 2005; 11:25 pm. Here's the transcipt of the message:

"Hi baby! It's me, uhmmm I'm trying this one if this will gonna work, but it said record... so, I don't know what to say too..hm hm hm (he's quite laughing, i do not know how to put it in words). You just take care always, ok? You know I'm just always here whenever you need me. I'll try to email you whenever I can. Be online whenever I can. But mostly, I can't coz most of the shift that I am getting is 'till close coz I'm a closing manager. Just smile always, ok By? Take care of yourself, I'm just here. Talk to you later, bye!"

I found myself teary eyed and there's something in my chest that won't let me breath. Why am I feeling this thing in my heart? I thought I am now okey... I thought I'm through with this. I am trying to hold my tears for my co workers will see it and I know they will ask me. I can't stop myself playing the message for how many times... it's killing me though. The date was almost two months when he decided to stop our relationship as bf-gf and go back as being bestfriends... we are having troubles at that time because of his illness. I hate myslef today, I hate myself for I can't stop this pain in my heart. All I want is to be fine. I even had a dream of him last night that he's telling me that he and his new gf are doing fine... that everything seemed right... that's why when I woke up late this morning I promised I will forget everything and move on with my life. I really hate myself... I don't know what to do again.


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6:50 pm

I'm about to go home... though im not really ok... plus I took my lunch at 3pm at mcdonalds and the attending cashier named CARLO... waaaaaahhhhh! I hate him... I'm starting to hate him!

wala lang

ok lang ako buong araw... nagpaka-busy sa harap ng pc... nasa work kahit walang trabaho
yun lang pow

Updating..

I'm currently updating my website... and I'm writing on my blog too! ha ha ha! I hope I can do this everyday. I'll keep you posted the whole day....I'm missing him so much!

i hate this situation

I'm currently at work... just finished my deadline and waiting for the artist to convert the files to pdf before sending those to Japan. I'm at work and so busy but my mind flies across the dreamers world... I am thinking of him again. I hate my situation because I do not know if I will let this feeling grow. I've know him for a year now... he was there when I was in this situation too with my bestfriend, he was the one who taught me what to do in order to know where am I at my bestfriends's life, a reason why I and my bestfriend had those months, he's always there whenever we have some problems, especially when everything was.... I don't want to remember those days anymore... all I know is... this guy never left my side. Although there are moments when I cannot understand him anymore, like his way of lambing, those seems not for a friend but I am trying to ignore it. I am afraid that I being on a rebound might just hurt him in the end... and lose him too like what happened to me and my bestfriend... I just can't afford to lose him. When he was so busy with his work last year, I tried to forget him. But I was in vain... for until now, this strange feeling is still here. Whenever he's around me, I feel so lucky yet I am still mixed up with my emotions... I do not know if I really love him. Last week I tried to ignore him, thinking it may help me, but, I noticed I was hurting myself too when he asked someone why I am avoiding him, that as if he is not existing in my life. I cried that night.... and say sorry afterwards. *sigh*

Hope I know what to do....