-no title-

I didn't put a title on my blog for this day... coz I really don't know what to put.
I am teary eyed almost the whole day which started last night.

I decided to talk to my boss again and let her know that she really needs to find someone to replace me for I really need to leave. As expected she is still asking me to stay and after 2 hours of talking, we concluded it with the decision of "I'll stay" till "we" find someone to replace me. I'm having a hard time to leave them because I love my job and I like my staff.

This morning I woke up so late... 9 am. I rushed to bathroom and go to work. I opened my blog and saw thinzy's comment but since I didn't receive any email from her at my other email I texted her and told her. I am planning to call her since yesterday... And I will (hoy Tina sagutin mo ha?!) when I am not this busy anymore, and when I think I am ok. hehehe!

Something echoed in my mind... "Be strong coz I can't be with you always!" That's Carlo's words.... he always tells me that whenever I am down... yes I am too dependent with him (emotionally). While with HABIT... I am a brat who gets everything I want, until I found out all the mess and broke up with him. Although we still talk... he tried to win me back for how many times--- and I did everything to push him away from me. But this past few months, I could feel how much he loves me... yet I still have doubts with him... I wonder when I can finally remove that thing.

---

Ms. Fukumoto, the Advertising and Circulation manager will fly back to Tokyo tomorrow afternoon... We talked and I think she is really nice, its just that we always argue at work because of the deadline. I bought her a native woven back pack... and she's only a year older than me or maybe just months.

And ohhh... I'll be out tonight for a dinner... hehehe!

usog

Do u know what that word means? Hindi ko alam i-explain... basta ganito nangyari sa akin last saturday. Supposed to be I'm going to watch a movie, either xmen or MI3. So we went to gateway, but since HABIT has a 5:00 o'clock appointment and the movie will start at 4:20, he asked me if we could move it to Tuesday instead. And I was realy disappointed, it was the third time it was moved. First was I need to finish my deadline, second he has an urgent meeting then the last one was he has a 5:00 appointment. Sa sobrang inis ko hindi na ako nagsasalita. Then he asked me if I want to eat, I just said ikaw bahala. Then inikot namin yung foodcourt, wala akong makitang makakain. Then I saw a talangka (crablets)... sabi ko yun na lang. The price was quite expensive yet he still bought it for me, then we find a table and he left me for a while so that he could choose his own food too. I was eating the crablets when I noticed that someone is looking at me, when I looked at the other table I saw a average looking guy staring at me...Hindi ko na lang pinansin, pero halatang pinapanood nya ako kumain. Then HABIT came with his food (grilled pusit). I asked him to change my barbecue kasi lasang ewan, kaya umalis sya ulit. Then kinuha ko yung isang part ng squid kinain ko... tinitingnan na naman ako nung guy. Hindi ko na sinabi kay HABIT kasi alam ko magagalit sya dun sa guy. Pag-uwi ko masakit na tyan ko, tapos nasusuka na ako at nahihilo at masakit ang ulo. Tapos nilagnat pa ako kinagabihan. Kinuwento ko kay mama, sabi nya baka daw nausog ako nung guy.

waaaahhhhh :((

Call me stupid but I almost cry few seconds ago... really! My previous supervisor showed me this picture That's Kris Lawrence and my previuos supervisor at work. He was the one who promoted me to where I am right now.

I'm so jealous! He has a new picture together with my crush.... I love this guy so much! I love his voice kasi... check out my playlist and the song "When I see You smile".... Nakakain-love talaga sya pagkumakanta...hihihi!

Then he sent me another picture Waaaaaahhhhhhhh! I wasn't able to hear his voce live... Sir glen kept on saying sorry to me for he promised me that I will come with him or I'll give him my copy of his cd to get signed.

I am quite lonely about that.... hmp!

CHANGE TOPIC. Last night, when I got home from work and rustan's fresh( I bought dispossable diapers for my nephew then I also bought 1/2 pound bar of hersheys dark choco... I can't resist the chocolate... mwahahaha), my nephew didn't smile at me, he just look at me. Unlike before he always smile whenever he see me. Then it took an hour before he calls me..."mama, mama" then I hurridly finish my dinner and get him from my kuya's arm. My youngest sister told me "Ate nakakaawa si Dash kanina, buong maghapon sya pabalik-balik sa room mo tapos kumakatok tawag ng tawag ng mama". Grabeh, sobrang nakonsensya talaga ako. Siguro kung anak ko talaga sya umiyak na ako... feeling ko pabaya akong nanay eh.

Pero kagabi, ok naman na sya... hindi na nagtatampo.

for my readers' sake

I am working too much lately just for the sake of my readers. For more than a year, I've been wanting to leave this job because it causes me too much stress. Last year my ex-bestfriend/boyfriend asked me to find first a new job before leaving this, he told me that if I'm gonna leave this without a fall back---I am stupid. He thought I listened to what he was trying to tell me, but he doesn't know I was just waiting for something... I don't want to elaborate anymore what was that all about... hehehe. Anyhow, I am forcing myself and kicking my ass to work for my readers sake... why? For a year and so, I've been looking for someone who can replace me, someone that I can teach what to do and someone who will work better for the newspaper. But whenever I thought I find him/ her... my boss will kick him/ her out of this office... reason? Lack of funds. That's why it took me a year before finally filing my resignation which causes too much thinking for my boss. But because my reason was about me having sick because of my job, she asked me stay and told me to eat whenever I need to (or whenever my gastritis might attack), gave me an "increase" (spoken using a dwarf's voice) and she never ask me why I am always late. She's thinking of the newspaper's sake... and I, thinking of the 25,000 or more Filipinos reading this newspaper every issue. Tomorrow is my last day to my work as stated to my resignation letter. What will ever happen to the newspaper if I am going to leave this company? Surely, we will lose our readers. I feel like I've got a big responsibility to these people-- giving them the information and entertainment they need to know and get, giving them something to read to ease their loneliness and wanting to see Philippines soon. Me, having a heart as soft as a cotton candy, sometimes cannot just dump all these people-- well, that's what I feel, If I am going to leave this job, I will dump the 25,000 or more readers always waiting for this newspaper. And more so, my boss didn't look for someone to replace me. And due of this, I just cannot leave this company. *sigh*

Remember our Japanese Big Boss? He's here for the whole week, he talks to me as if nothing happened. He smiles at me as if he didn't scolded me last two weeks ago. Maybe my boss told him that I filed a resignation. And he is asking me to do everything so that our first issue of the classified ads (like) section will look best.

I've been wanting to rest, my friends keep on telling me I really need it.... and I will rest after helping them do this.

CHANGE TOPIC. This morning my mother woke up a bit early than what she got used to. She asked me if I will go to work today and what time. Then I told her I will this morning. She told me her friend will pick her up at 9am, meaning she will be the one to use first the bathroom. Then I went back to sleep. She woke me up with a hug and asked me what time I arrived this morning from work. Suddenly, I missed my mom.... then before my tears drop on my cheeks I told her to go and take a bath for I need to go to work this morning. She answered "Naglalambing pa ako eh". I just laughed! Then without knowing I fell asleep again while she was hugging me.

Before I left, my 1 yr old nephew hugged me tight and said "mama"-- he calls me that way. He cried when he saw me leaving. Geeeezzz, I am missing my family so much! For the whole week my nephew saw me only yesterday morning and this morning... and on both day, he was crying and calling me trying his best not let me go to work. I am missing him too.... so much!

new pics last weekend

New Pics last weekend... I had a great time with my close friends... I brought along with me my niece... but she hates camera... hahaha!

sige na nga

mwahahahaha! napipilitan daw ako mag blog.... har har har!

May sakit pa nga ba ako? Meron yata... Katamaran! Kakainis hindi man lamang ako makasulat ng balita at kuwentong kutsero....hmp!

Last Monday I told my ate that it will be my last leave after she warned me that I am earning my leave and they might deduct my absences to my exit pay... but yesterday, I filed a half day, because my back was in pain. Kuya said, the main reason why I am always sick is - I do not want my job anymore... he is also waiting when will I finally stays home...hahaha! But honestly, he was like "uh oh she will stay here at home--- It can't be!" mwahahaha! Eh kasi naman, I am Kuya's spoiled brat... mwahahaha! He can't say no whenever I tell him that I want to go shopping, I want to watch movie or eat in a resto.... mwahahaha! I love him so much! He gives me everything I want as long as he can afford.... Two months ago and til now I am asking for a laptop... I told him I don't have a money... mwahahaha! He said we will buy it this May... but the month is almost over and he haven't bought anything... although we already did some canvassing (is that the right term?) last two weeks ago, and maybe he will buy it not later than July. ohhhhh wish me luck... or else I really need to stay here and wait for my retrenchment so that I could add that money to my savings and buy the best that I saw in cyberzone.

The bell is ringing.. lunchtime... I'll try to update you guys later!

sickie again

hay naku, may sakit na naman ako! Hindi na ako nawalan ng sakit dahil sa trabaho ko... wala pa naman na akong health card.. magsasara na nga diba? Har Har har!

swimming! yeah swimming kami nila Sam sa Saturday... sasama ko sis ko and baka yung nephew ko..excited na ako mag lublob sa tubig...hehehe.

sige saka na lang ulit... bukas na lang pag nasa mood na ako magtype... pumasok ako ngayon kasi sabi ng ate ko baka kaltasan ako sa exit pay ko sa dami ng sick leave ko... sayang din yun noh! Pero ayaw ko na mag work!

what is sleep?

I do not know the word "sleep" anymore....

Teka, bangag na ako so babalaan ko na din kayo hindi ko na alam mga sinasabi ko dito. Basta gusto ko na umuwi at matulog... hindi pa ako umuuwi eh. First time nangyari sa akin ito....

bangag na

grabeh! Ngayon lang nangyari sa akin ito.... basahin nyo nga iba kong blog these past few days... lahat bangag na.. lalo na yung kagabi... hindi ko maintindihan english ko kanina nung binabasa ko... bangag na talaga ako.

Ngayon dito pa rin me sa work 12:30 am na.... waaaaahhhhh! Yun na lang kaya kong sabihin. Hindi ko naman magawang pabayaan... haaay!

sige bukas na lang ako ulit blog... rather mamaya...

wondering

I am wondering for hours now, hehehe... I was quite hesitant to write this thing here in my blog. Bakit? Malalaman nyo mamaya.... I was trying to relax at work this afternoon when I decided to scan my friends' list in my friendster... then I saw the page of my ex... hehehe... I was kinda "oh really? He's taking an aviation course?" Now, somebody knows what I am talking about and who is he.... hahaha! I had mixed emotions... happy for him and somewhat proud... really! I know he loves planes but never told me he wants to be part of the aviation world. Then suddenly something crossed my mind... that course he is taking up right now is almost the same course with what mumu wanted to pursue... when he was still here in Philippines, he took up Aeronautical engineering in a common school for aeronautical thingy here... then when they migrated in Canada he learned that it will cost him too much to continue his studies there, so he finally decided to take another course. I was thinking of... what would he feel if he learned that the person he is so jealous with (because he knows how much I loved that guy) is taking up a course which is almost the same with what he really wants to be.... I know he will get inggit... hahaha! Ano na ba pumapasok sa isip ko? Nyahaha! Naisip ko lang naman.... wag sana ako sabunutan ng isang tao dyan...har har har!

Then I'm still here at work... It's passed 12 am... then I have to report tomorrow at 9:00 am.

resign pero OT

"Nag resign ka na me OT ka pa ha"

That's Jay-jay's reaction upon seeing me online at 10:00 pm (Manila time). He's at Virginia. Hmmmm... what can I do? I still have this responsibility until I turn over evrything to someone who will passed my own criteria.... har har har! While talking to Jay thru YM, I was talking with my bestfriend too over the phone (she's in Sydney). Janice and I were trying to catch up with each other, what's new with each of us.... She was telling me so many things particularly about her only son.. Lukee. While me, telling her about everything about me in the easiest way I could for I am also typing something in the computer to finish my deadline....hahaha! Can you do that?

A while ago, Janice called up and was telling me na muntik na daw sya magtampo for she thought I have totally forgotten her birthday... I didn't call or message her in her friendster...she even said to her husband... Daddy nakalimutan na ako ni Ira... nyahaha! I was laughing this afternoon... I told her I just ran out of load and I wasn't able to go online last Saturday. She said, she decided to call up instead.... har har har! HIndi ako matiis ng best ko eh.... kaya love ko yan!

It's almost 11:00 pm... I really need to go.... I have to report tomorrow as early as 9:00 am... Wish me luck for I am always late...

And ohhhh... before I forget... Thinzy might check my blog before leaving her mom's house... Thinzy, ayaw pa din magpa-comment ng wp mo.... hmp!

Byeeeeeee!

over time (kakatamad)

Bakit ganun? Pag nag file ka na ng resignation, nakakatamad na mag work... especially with my case because whenever I am working the more my tummy aches. *sigh*

Right now I am at work, its saturday here, yesterday I filed a sick leave but I know I need to go to work today to check the pages my staff did while I am absent. Responsibilities..... *sigh* I used to be a very responsible person, I hate persons who doesn't want responsibility, but now, all I want is get out of these responsibilities.... hay!

Habit fetched me this morning at home, he's still handsome... hehehe. We were talking about me looking for a new home, a rent to own, somewhere in fairview... I told him that when I finally moved there with my kuya and sis, I can no longer take the cab for it will cost me too much... he said "Don't worry I'll fetch you"... I just smiled then he asked "What's the name of the place again? I said its Dahlia... he said "Dalas? Wag naman, eroplano na kailangan nun!" Then he was laughing.... and I was too... he's making me laugh again... I am missing those days.

Speaking of Habit... Dream, talked to me yesterday over the phone, I told him I filed a resignation, then he was like " Ahhhh... you better rest". I was teasing him... calling him Kuya and he was just silent... no reaction at all. Then mama called me to take my lunch, so he said goodbye....

Today, supposed to be we will be here till 4pm, but my layout artist needs to go to the hospital to take care of his uncle... we will leave at 12pm instead...

That's the summary of my yesterday and half of my day... need to work first!

with the mumu

Last night I couldn't sleep because my tummy was aching, actually until now it's aching. It's almost dawn when my eyes finally shut. I saw myself in a building, it looks like glorietta, yet I am not sure. I was there to meet one of my friend, then surprisingly see her with someone who intends to surprise me. I was shock, I couldn't even step closer to them. Carlo, step to hug me tight and he told me his only dream came true, to hug me, talk to me and hold my face, I was in total silence. I look at his cousin, Yayie and she just smiled at me. He was wearing checkered light blue polo and I cannot remember the color of his pants. Then suddenly, one of his friends came and they laughed seeing they are wearing same polo, so, we left them to find something to replace his polo, but whenever we walk, we are like lost somewhere, so we will again go back to the place where we left his cousin and friends, we tried again to go to another wing only find boxes and go back again, while looking for the store, he told me that he really wanted to surprise me and he went home just to be with me. While walking, his left arm is on my shoulder trying to keep me in his side. And since, we always find nothing, we went back to the place and saw his friend changed his polo already, he said then there's no need for him to change his polo anymore, when we turn to his cousin Yayie, a girl came and gladly hug and kissed Carlo on his cheek, as if I am not there. Carlo was still holding my hand and told the girl that I am his girlfriend, that is why I and Yayie looked at him... I was thinking that I gave him up last year and here is he telling his friends that I am his gf? Then another friend of him spoke and said "of course we know her, lagi mo siyang bukambibig eh".

I was really in shock and I was really like "What the hell are they saying?"

Suddenly I woke up and found myself again in pain... tummy aches! Arrgggghhhh!

I haven't think of him these past few days.... suddenly I remember the up coming date.

filed

I submitted my resignation last night before leaving work, I asked my friend to gave it to my boss since she was talking with somebody at that time in her office. A few minutes upon arriving home, she was calling my mobile and I didn't answer. She then sent a message, telling me that she received my resignation and she wants to talk to me first thing in the morning.

This morning, I reached work around 10 am, I was an hour late that's why I decided to file it half day. Hindi kasi ako nabilihan ni Kuya ng gamot ko kagabi kaya hindi ako makakain ng breakfast ng hindi ako umiinom ng gamot ko.

After an hour, my boss called me in her office and talked about my resignation, she was asking me to stay. I told her my health problem and she just asked me to take good care of my health. When the clock hits 12:00 noon, I told her I will took my lunch and left her office.

At least I told her I will think it over but I already filed it, meaning, if ever I wanted to leave, she can't do anything about that.

How I wish I can talk to Kuya Tugz right now, but I guess... few more days he will become visible na in YM. If not, I might call him up and tell him the news... and of course I want to hear his stories too about their new angel.... I just can't stop asking for pictures! hehehe!

It's 6:20pm now and I wanna go home, my tummy is aching for 8 hours now and I really want to relax at home... I did nothing at work today though it is my deadline, I just can't write and my tummy really hurts. Yesterday, I was in pain from 6am till almost midnight. *sigh*

Gotta go now!