is this a movie?

Today is my freakin deadine at work, I should be writing my headline for the newspaper and not my blog. But I feel like needing to burst everything here so that I could go on with my work.

Last Saturday, Mike, a very good friend of mine and Dream asked me to met him up at the nearest coffee shop in my place. He told me, it's bugging him so much and he really needs to talk to me. When I reached the place, he was already there. He was smiling at me. Then, I asked him "O, what na? Sabi mo may importante kang sasabihin"... then he nodded.

He ordered my favorite chocolate frap without asking me anymore... "Alam ko naman ang gusto mo" he is like answering my questions on my mind.

Then he inhaled and exhaled... asked me how I am and my work, things that he always knew. Mike is one of my friends who is also "always busy" but finds time to ask, how I was and our other friends.

Then I was looking at him without thinking that my forehead wrinkled.... he inhaled again.

"Have you talked with 'Dream'?"

"Hindi pa... bakit?" I answered

"Nakausap ko sya almost two weeks ago, nag-inuman kami" I was like "ah huh"

Then he continued... "akala ko, ako ang na-mi-miss ng loko, ibang tao pala. Pero ang tanga-tanga naman!"

At this point, I feel like I want to stand up and leave Mike on that place. I can't understand him anymore and I feel like he is hurting me without his knowledge. I know he doesn't know what I feel for his friend.

Then he looked at me "Do you love him?" I was like "who?" Mike smiled at me. "Si 'Dream' mahal mo ba sya?"

Napakunot- noo ako sa kanya, I didn't answer his question. Then he said.

"Ikaw pinag-usapan namin nung nagkita kami. Sabi nya he is missing you so much and its causing him so much pain, kaya sabi ko, mahal mo ba sya pare?"

You wanna know guys kung ano sagot ni 'Dream' sa tanong ni Mike?

"Hindi ko alam, pare! But whenever I see her, it's like a promise of forever. Pero natatakot ako, feeling ko hindi pa ako handa, I feel like mauulit lang ulit yung nangyari sa amin ni Rhea. Atsaka, nag-eenjoy pa ako ngayon pare, yung ganito walang iniisip na girlfriend, ako lang at negosyo ko."

Then Mike, asked him kung iyon nga ba talaga ang dahilan. Then he told Mike that he is also afraid na baka kapag sinabi nya sa akin na mahal ko sya, sabihin ko sa kanya na may mahal akong iba, or kapag naging kami naman, baka pag gusto na nya ako pakasalan eh hindi ko naman kaya iwanan ang trabaho ko.

"Sabi nya, Ira kept on saying she want to quit her job, yet she's still there. She loves her job so much, I know that. kaya ko sya buhayin pare, pero kaya nya ba mabuhay sa klase ng buhay ko?" At that point Mike was looking at me straight to my eyes. Hindi ko sya kaya tingnan. Then ang nasabi ko na lang " Mas kilala nya pa ako, kesa sa sarili ko."

Marami pa sinabi sa akin si Mike... pero di ko na masyado maalala ang detalye, that day I was like... bakit ganun? Ang gulo-gulo!

Mike didn't let me leave without getting any reaction from me. Or should I say the reaction he was waiting.

Then I told him na bakit kailangan nya malaman ang sagot ko. He is not dream. Kung walang courage si Dream na sabihin sa akin ang lahat ng iyon, then it will remain as that. Na kung gusto nya ng sagot sa tanong nya, dapat ako ang tanungin ng diretso. I was pissed off of Dream. He reminded me of someone. Then I told Mike "Wala kang makukuhang sagot sa akin Mike." Tapos tumayo na ako, hindi ko na talaga kaya eh.. iiyak na ako.

Nung nakatalikod na ako kay Mike, sabi niya "Tinanong ko si 'Dream' kung ano ang balak nya, sabi nya he is doing everything para kalimutan ka (then I started to walk) pero hindi nya kaya (I stopped, turn to Mike and said "I should leave now").

Naglalakad ako pabalik sa bahay, ang bilis ng lakad ko, baka kasi nasa likod si Mike at makita nya na umiiyak ako. Tapos nag ring cellphone ko. Pagtingin ko si Mike. Sinagot ko. Yun pala nasa likod ko nga sya sakay ng kotse nya. Bigla ko pinunas ang luha ko. Pinasakay nya ako, sunod naman ako. Pinarada nya sa isang tabi. Saka sya humarap sa akin.

"Hindi ako nakipagkita syo para paiyakin ka. Alam ko na mahal nyo isa't isa. Wala lang gusto umamin ng diretso sa isa't isa." Pinutol ko salita ni Mike "Ano gusto mo gawin ko Mike? Ako ang magsalita? Kahit pa sigurado na ako ngayon na mahal ako ng kaibigan mo, hindi pa din ako magsasalita, hayaan mo sya. Marami pa syang kailangang intindihin sa sarili nya. At kailangan nya iyon malaman mag-isa. Ayaw ko makialam sa kanya."

"Tinanong ko sya na paano kung magising sya isang araw at ready na sya sabihin sa iyo ang lahat, pero may iba ka na. Sabi niya alam na daw nya mangyayari yun someday, alam na din nya gagawin nya."

"See? Mike, tinawagan mo ako kasi sabi mo may gusto ka sabihin... ito lang ba ang sasabihin mo sa akin? Matagal ko nang alam na mahal nya ako. Pero alam ko din na takot sya. I am not going to wait for him Mike. I'll go with the flow of my life, no more plans, no more reservations... if ever we cross again our path someday and we still have this feelings for each other, siguro dun na lang kami mag-iisip kung ano ang gagawin. Right now, all I want is to be fine."

Then I left Mike. I ran towards our street and walk as fast as I could.

Tell me if I am wrong... I just don't want to rush things... kung hindi pa panahon... hindi ko pipiliting mahinog ang bunga... I don't want to end up crying again in the end.